Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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