I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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