Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
