Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I can't put those talents on a resume
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
