CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
