Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize