Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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