They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Randomize
