I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I will be naked everywhere
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize