Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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