absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize