Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
