She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
