Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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