So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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