After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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