I like my sex mixed with concussions.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
