the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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