you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
