Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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