I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
