Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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