i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
