she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
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