i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
My ATM looks so different sober.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize