I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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