birth control should be required to get into college
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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