I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
