so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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