Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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