I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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