Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
