Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Randomize
