I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
So many bounce houses so little time
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
