She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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