Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
