I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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