Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
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