how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
