Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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