I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
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