I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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