you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
