Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
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