I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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