physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
