he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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