remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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