Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
