If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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