drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
