Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
She tied me up with her honor cords...
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize