I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
