i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Randomize
