they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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