i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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