this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
